I love you baby
by korin-chan14
Summary: Kagura and Sougo found some brats who looks awfully like them... Who the hell are their parents?
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1: Babies are cute for strangers, but in reality...They are so annoying you end up calling them BRATS!**

**KAGURA'S POV**

I stared up the sky and suddenly blinked because of the bright shining sun. "Darn! It's so hot!". I twirled my umbrella heading to my favorite shop.

"Baa-chan! One box of sukonbu-aru!"

The old grandma gave me my order and paid it using the money I stole at Gin-chan's pocket while he is busy sleeping. I slip one sukonbu in my mouth and continued walking home. I was busily humming when I noticed a box at the side of the stairs. I went closer and was very surprised on what I had seen.

"GIN-CHAN!" I slided the Shoji door and immediately went to the living room, seeing Gin-chan reading JUMP while drinking his oh-so favorite strawberry milk, while Shinpachi is doing the laundry like your typical housewife.

"Okaeri, Kagura-chan." Shinpachi greeted.

I just decided to ignore Shinpachi's greeting and sat at the couch, still holding the box I saw earlier. "Hey, Gin-chan, Shinpachi look what I had found-aru."

Gin-chan ignored me, but Shinpachi took a peek. "Kagura-chan! Where did you found that?!" he asked.

"I saw it outside, near our place-aru." I answered passively.

Gin-chan was now curious after hearing our conversations. He put his JUMP down and went near us, whe he shouted... "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

**SOUGO'S POV**

I just woke up and now on my way back to the Shinsengumi Headquarters. My afternoon was rather peaceful, mainly because china wasn't at the park like usual. Though it's quite boring to think that I had no sparring sessions today with her, I'm quite glad for a fact that I had a great siesta.

I am now in front of the gate, where I can see the guards are see the guards are forming a group and I can hear weak mumbles from them.

"What's that thing doing here?" ask the guard.

"Don't call it a thing, you idiot!" said the other, and gave the other guard a hit on a head.

"Hey, don't you think, he somewhat resembles Okita-taichou?" asked the third guard.

Hearing that, made the guards nod like they are agreeing to him.

That just made my curiosity turned on. I walked near them and try catching their attention. "What are you doing there? Are you lazing around? That's not good, if Hijikata-san were to know this, he might make you commit seppuku."

"N-no... Okita-taichou, we are not lazing around, we just saw this and-" I didn't let him finish reporting and just went there to see it for myself... And what an interesting thing I had discovered.

**NORMAL POV**

"A baby?!" Gin and Kondou asked in surprise seeing the thing Kagura and Sougo brought back home.

"Oh, hey Gin-san. Look there's a note in the basket." Shinpachi said, noticing the paper near the baby.

_'To the awesome group of Yorozuya; The lazy-useless-permed-head Gin-chan, The oh-so annoying-plain megane Shinpachi, and the super-duper cute heroine, Queen Kagura-chan,'_

"Oi! Is that the proper way of addressing someone you need help with?" Shinpachiasked a little annoyed.

"Hey do you really think we would lend a hand hearing some tasteful insults like that? Rather than helping, I'm dying to kill him/her now." Gin said, having a vein pop appear to his temple.

"Why are you all so pissed-aru? It doesn't sound so bad for me." Kagura commented looking at the note.

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT NICE PRAISES INSTEAD OF AN INSULT!" the two men answered.

Going back to the letter,

_'I would be leaving this child to your care. My husband and I have business to do. so take care of her for us. Before I forgot, that little girl has got the quite appetite._

_P.S. Make sure you take good care of her or you're definitely DEAD!_

_Love,_

_Her beautiful mother'_

"What the heck?!" Gin shouted.

Meanwhile at the Shinsengumi headquarters…

"Hey, there's a note." Hijikata noticed.

"Really? Can I see it Hijikata-san?" Sougo asked politely… LIKE HELL! He actually said that after trying to slash Hijikata's arms using his Katana. Good thing (Bad for Sougo) Hijikata had dodged it.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TRYING TO SLICE MY ARM, SOUGO?!" Hijikata shouted, as if it was something new… But then again, we all know it wasn't.

"Well, it's just that I wanted to see the note myself so I decided to take it away from you Hijikata-san… Together with your arms I guess..." Sougo answered calmly like there was nothing wrong with it.

"TEME!" With the face Hijikata was having, it looks like a WWIII was going to occur, but thanks to a certain Gorilla, the war of the two bishounens has been prevented.

"Mah, Mah… Let's just all calm down and read the note. Maybe we could get some clues from it." Gori said trying to calm the two down.

'_To the Shinsengumi; specifically speaking to the Gorilla commander Kondou-san, the Mayo Nicotine-freak who is soon to die, Hijibastard Toushidiot, and the soon-to-be vice-commander Sadist Sougo.' _

"Oi… What the hell is the problem with that sender?" Hijikata said, losing his temper.

"Indeed. He is an interesting person. I hope I could meet him soon." Sougo said, feeling that he could get along well with this person.

"BASTARD! That's because it looks like he's a sadist like you!"

"Mah, mah… let's just continue reading the letter." Kondou suggested, not caring even if he was called a gorilla.

'_I entrust this child of mine in your hands. My wife and I have business to take care of, and we can't just let this kid being alone with useless adults. So we decided to let you take the job. I'll be taking him back, once our work is finished. Make sure you take good care of my child, or it's DEATH to all of you._

_P.S. this child fancies Hijikata-san so much, so let this kid play with him from time to time._

_Sincerely,_

_His sadistic father.'_

"What the hell?! We're SHINSENGUMI! Not a crappy day care center! What the hell are we gonna do with that brat?!" Hijikata snapped.

Sougo carried the baby and faced it to Hijikata. "Hijikata-san, the father said that this brat fanc-" Sougo didn't had the chance to proceed when the baby threw a number of Kunais directed at Hijikata's head.

Being caught off guard, Hijikata didn't have the chance of dodging it, leaving him unconscious on the floor with blood oozing out.

"After that, the baby giggled happily as he shouts in his cute little voice, "Die~ Jijigata~ Die!~"

Sougo flinched. Then he looked at the kid he was carrying and grinned evilly as he says, "Leave this child to me. I'll definitely take good care of him."


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.: Uwaah~! Arigatou for the reviews. It's my first time receiving a lot of reviews for a 1st chapter…. Eto neh… majority of the readers had already guessed about the parents of the brats… I mean kids. Since I really made it very obvious because this fanfic was planned to be a one-shot, so my pacing was quite fast… That's why this story would only consist of 3 or 4 chapters only. Anyway, please continue reading until the last chapter, even though you already know about these brats parents. Arigatou~ Jaa… Dozo…**

**DISCLAIMER: I proudly own the OOCness of the characters here, and might as well the grammatical errors, but not Gintama. It is owned by our favorite gorilla, Sorachi Hideaki-sensei da! (I forgot to put this on the 1st chapter. Gome)**

**CHAPTER 2: Sometimes it is pretty much annoying to hear other people say that you look like your parent especially if you know that, the said parent of your is not good looking~**

**KAGURA'S POV**

"Hey don't you guys think this brat awfully looks like Kagura?" Gin-chan asked as he picks his nose.

"I think you're right Gin-san." Shinpachi seconded.

Hearing them agree with that idea, made me stare at the baby I am carrying.

It seems to me, she's at the age of 2 to 3 years old. Just like me, her hair is orange and her skin is a bit pale. Looking at her, she is somewhat a complete replica of me, though a baby version. But that thought just lasted within a mere second when she opened her eyes. It wasn't blue like mine, it was a crimson red one… a pair of ruby eyes. Those eyes are quite familiar to me, though I can't seem to remember who's that person who shares the same redness of her eyes.

"Well, it's clear to us that Kagura's not the mother though. Maybe her parents has the same physical features like her." Woah! A perfectly normal answer from Gin-chan? How OOC.

"Is that even possible?" Shinpachi asked.

"It already happened to me remember? You accused me that the child left here in our office was mine just because he looks like me? But it turns out to be that I'm not the father of that boy." Gin-chan answered looking pissed off, remembering the fact that all of us was convinced then that he was really the father.

"Maybe, she's Pappi's daughter-aru. A daughter from another woman, meaning my illegitimate sister-aru."

"That's also a possibility." Gin-chan approved my hunch.

"W-wait… Let's not draw out conclusions like that, Kagura-chan, Gin-san. Umibouzu-san couldn't possibly-"

"Heh! If Pappi could cheat when Mami was still alive, how much more if she's long gone-aru?"

"That's a good point Kagura."

"No it isn't! Let's not be harsh to Umibouzu-san, especially when we are still not sure, who's this baby's parent is!"

While Shinpachi was making his annoying speech, the baby smiled at me while stretching her cute little arms. I smile back to her and she suddenly touched my cheeks. But what surprised me the most is when she,

"Mami!" called me like that.

**SOUGO'S POV**

I am just spending my day off taking care of a baby. Well, if it was a normal toddler, I would just put it in a sack and give it to Danna and let him handle the rest for me. A parfait or two would motivate him to do so, but this brat caught my interest.

"How is it possible that a child almost look the same as me, and share the same hatred towards Hijikata-san?" I mumbled to myself.

He has the same color of my hair… and his face… his face looks like mine. He's like a baby version of me. But the only difference is his eyes. It was blue. A pair of ocean blue eyes… same color as hers.

"Daddy…" he called, facing me with his head tilting.

"Daddy?"

"Pulay!" he said.

"Pulay" I wondered. "Oh you mean play?" Damn with the baby talk. "Here" I tossed a straw voodoo doll on him with a picture of Hijikata-san on top.

Well, as expected, he happily ripped off the head of the doll while giggling and singing his 'Jijigata die' song. If someone were to see us, they would definitely conclude we're father and son.

"What the heck am I thinking?"

So to make myself divert in thinking such things, I decided that the best way is to go to the park and use China to relieve stress. The brat? I'll just have Yamazaki take care of him.

I was about to go out when this kid suddenly let out an annoying loud cry.

"T-taichou…" Yamazaki called while he was holding the kid. It looks to me that the kid hates him, since the brat kept on pulling his hair.

"Daddy!" the brat cried looking at me. I just scratched my head, annoyed with the current situation I am having.

"Now what? I'll be having a brat with me the whole time? I'll just be like Oga from Be*z*bub?"

**KAGURA'S POV**

"Hey baby, want to play outside-aru?" I asked her while lifting her body up and down.

"Pulay?" she repeated while tilting her head. How cute! "Pulay!" she said again but now clapping her hands. It seems that she had liked the idea.

"With that said. Gin-chan! Shinpachi! I'm going out-aru!"

"Just be careful Kagura-chan." Shinpachi reminded.

"Damn that brat. She really has the appetite. She's in par with Kagura. My strawberry milk~" Gin-chan cried looking at the bunch of cartons emptied by this baby.

So, here we are at the park. I was on my way to sadist's favorite bench. A nice way to start my entertainment. I could shot him with my umbrella while he's asleep. Yup, not a bad idea.

But maybe, I'm not that lucky since I saw him not asleep. "Weird." I mumbled. I went closer to challenge him and the punishment is to tend this baby for me, but I was surprised seeing him, holding his own baby.

"Hey Sadist, when did you had a child-aru? Did you got drunk and went all the way to a club or something" I asked him while taking my seat.

"Don't compare me to Danna, China. I don't do those kind of things. The worst thing I might do while being drunk is to try killing that bastard Hijikata." He answered monotonously.

"You do that, whether you're drunk or not-aru."

Sadist just shrugged his shoulders when he noticed the thing I am holding.

"Say China, where the hell did you got that" he asked pointing at the baby. "Don't tell me she's yours? You must be kidding me, to think you had a boyfriend?"

"Hey, shut it bastard. Before I finally lose my patience and feed your stinky, mouth with my bullets. And besides, she's ain't mine. I just saw her outside the house."

"you too?"

"What do you mean-aru?"

"Just like you, I just picked this brat outside with a note attached."

"Me too! But wait a sec. does that mean that brat is not yours-aru?"

"Obviously idiot."

"But he looks like you."

"Same with you."

"Weird."

**Omake: Skip this if you want. It doesn't have anything to do with the next chapter.**

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful, gorgeous, pretty, good-looking princess which has been locked up in a tower by an evil witch. The only thing she do is to brush her long, long, not to mention long orange hair… the name? It is…

**KAGURAPUNZEL**

But her daily routine changed when she had met a bishounen prince. The prince instantly feel in love with her beauty so he decided to save her.

"Princess, put down your beautiful hair so that I could rescue you." He said.

The princess did what she had told. The prince started climbing up using her long hair… but the problem is, he is a sadist. He can't help himself say these things;

"Princess, once we get out of here, marry me. I'll tie you, whip you, and cuff your hands."

Hearing that made the princess annoyed, when the sadistic prince was about to reach the top, she cut her hair making the prince fall.

She used this chance. She jumped at the prince's body which has his bones broken and covered by her hair, using it as a cushion. The princess ran while shouting…

"So long sucker! Mwuhahaha!"

And she lived happily ever after…

~The end…

**A.N: Sorry for making you read that crap. Anyway, reviews onegai~**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Arigatou~ T.T… Hontou ni Hontou ni! Arigatou Gozaimashita!**

**Sorry if the chapters are too short… but I'll manage to make them long next time (I hope so~) And I'm glad you like the OMAKE part…**

**Jaa~ Other than thanks, there's nothing more to say….**

**~Dozo**

**Chapter 3: Don't blame a person having an ugly name. It's not his fault, it's his parents!**

**Disclaimer: Iya~ Gintama… It's the Gorilla who is currently busy working on the 2nd movie is the rightful owner… Let's encourage him by giving a banana so he could be motivated!**

**SOUGO'S POV**

China sat at the other side of the bench, carrying a brat which totally looks like her. What a poor world to think another girl who is as ugly as her has been born. I kept staring at the baby when she had looked straight at me. She stretched her arms and called, "Daddy!"

What the-? Did I hear it right?

"Daddy!"

China also heard it and was surprised as I am. "Hey Sadist. Don't tell me, you really had a kid? Not a son, but a daughter-aru?"

Like hell! She's not mine! And besides, no matter how much you look at it, it's damn obvious that she's yours.

**KAGURA'S POV**

Daddy? This brat called him Daddy? What the heck?!

'_If this is his daughter, then who the hell is-'_ my thought was cut when I noticed that the mini-sadist brat was staring at me.

"What do you want, brat?"

He was moving his tiny body, as if he wants to move at my side.

"Hey brat, stop moving or I'll throw you in the river." Sadist threatened him.

But the kid was not listening. He kept struggling looking at me. When he finally cried. "Mami!"

Mami? You mean me?

"Oi China, what's the meaning of this?" Sadist asked.

"Like hell I know!"

And now, we've got 2 brats crying so loud. Since the other one wants my side, and this one wants sadist's side we decided to trade children. And thank goodness our plan worked. These annoying brats finally decided to shut their mouths.

"Geez. What the hell is the problem with these brats? Calling me Mami, and you Daddy, even though we don't know them. I don't even know their name." I slipped some sukonbu in my mouth, and it seems the brats saw it.

"Ukombu." Said the girl one.

"Ukombu wanna~" followed the boy.

"You want this" I asked them raising the box of sukonbu.

"HAI!" they answered in unison… Damn! They are so cute! I can't possibly resist those two angels so I gave one each.

"Anyway China. What's the name of this brat?" Sadist asked me.

"Are you deaf or what, didn't I just said earlier that I don't know? There's no name mentioned in the note. How 'bout yours-aru?"

"I don't know too."

"How 'bout we give them a name?" I suggested.

"Forget it. That's just troublesome, just call them brats."

This lazy-ass sadist, I should have seen this coming.

**NORMAL POV**

"But you know, it's kinda hard having two babies here and calling them brats." Kagura insisted.

"Jaa~ Let's call her Gaki Musume and him Gaki Musuko. Happy?" Sougo suggested lazily.

"Arya~ What a pain in the ass Sadist you are." Kagura said getting annoyed.

"It's not like we need names for them. We won't be taking care of them together, and they are not ours in the first place."

"Urusai… It's proper to give kids name, even pets have… So a kid must have one, right? Akari-chan?" Kagura asked cutely the baby girl Sougo was holding. The little baby replied by giving tham a giggle and claps, showing that she love the name.

"Akari?" Sougo repeated.

"Sou da yo! It means, brightness-aru. And the 'Aka' can mean red which has the same color of her eyes." Kagura explained.

"Oh, I see… Not bad coming from you… Never expected you would think something as beautiful as that, China." Sougo complimented.

"J-just shut it, idiot." She moved her face away, hiding her embarrassed face, for not expecting a praise from him. "Anyway, it's your turn-aru. What would you want to call this brat?"

"Well, if you really insist, I would love to call that brat as _'Hijikata-san's assassin Mark 5'_"

Kagura hit his head for that very wonderful idea he had thought.

"Aoi-aru." She said looking straight at him.

"Aoi?"

"Aoi, the color of his eyes-aru."

"I see… His eyes eh looking closely, don't you think he has the same color as your eyes?"

"Yeah-aru. You're right. He does have the same color as mine." She said staring at Aoi. "Oh yeah, that reminds me… the color of Akari-chan's eyes. They seem familiar to me as well, though I don't know who. How 'bout you do you have any idea who?" she said not looking at him and continue playing with Aoi.

Sougo stared at Akari's eyes and got annoyed that Kagura doesn't have any clue.

"Try looking at me, China. Maybe you'll know."

"Huh? What are you-" she stopped talking when she met Sougo's ruby eyes. "Oh I see… Would you look at that? When I was just about thinking how beautiful Akari-chan's eyes were. Same as yours eh? Forget it."

"Anyway China…" Sougo called her attention, while being a little pissed off with her. "Don't you think this two brats are kinda related with each other? Or even if not, what if they are kidnapped or what?"

"Geez, don't be such a paranoid-aru. The note clearly says that their parents would come back once their so-called job would be finished."

"This is why I hate working with idiots."

"Oi~ I heard ya bastard."

"Anyway, you'll come with me at the Shinsengumi headquarters. I need to report this to Kondou-san and to that bastard… I mean Hijikata-san."

"No need to correct Mayora's name in front of me-aru. Call him bastard, or whatever you want… I already know how much you despise that man. Talk about his disgusting Mayo-aru."

"Who cares about your opinion on Hijikata-san's dog crap. Now, come with me and bring that brat along."

"Sure, besides I'm starting to get hungry anyway."

"China, we're going to the Shinsengumi headquarters, not to some kind of a family restaurant, stupid."

"I know bastard. An Anpan or two won't hurt right? Jerk."

"A glutton like you? Maybe you meant, a Anpan Factory or two?"

And so, the Sadist family… I mean, Sadist couple kept on cursing each other, until they had arrived to their destination.

**AN: Reviews, PM Kudasai… ^^**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: *sniffs sniffs* You guy! *hugs all of you* Arigatou for all the reviews I'm, so happy I became speechless… **

**Umm… since all of you had been bugging me to make a longer one… DOZO! This is a really long one (for me) and since I rushed this one, Typo errors as well as grammatical errors are all over the fic. Sorry I'm too busy (lazy) to edit those errors. Just pretend you didn't saw them ok? Tehee~**

**Jaa~ Dozo!**

**CHAPTER 4: BABYSITTING IS THE WORST JOB A SADIST, CHINA GIRL NOT TO MENTION A GORILLA AND A MAYORA COULD HAVE!**

At the Shinsengumi Headquarters...

Sougo went in fist carrying the sleeping Akari-chan followed by Kagura who is also carrying a sleeping brat. They had arrived at the cafeteria, when Yamazaki had greeted them.

"Taichou, you're back already? Anyways, who's that child? Aren't the one you have is a boy?" Yamazaki asked.

"This is not mine, it's hers." Sougo pointed at Kagura.

"Eh? Kagura-san? You already have a daughter? When did it happened, and why does Okita-taichou is the one taking care of her? Don't tell me-" Yamazaki was silenced when Kagura and Sougo pointed their weapons at him.

"Shut the fuck up, Anpan-yarou. You'll wake the brats-aru." Kagura said.

"It took us a long time and effort to make these rodents to shut up." Sougo added.

"So, if the all of you doesn't want to die yet, learn to keep your nasty. Stinky mouth up!" Kagura and Sougo said in unison.

So scared with the two of them, all the Shinsengumi present on that area kept their mouth shut. They kept their movements still avoiding the slight noise that may wake the kids up. Because if thy fail to do so, it's their turn to sleep… ETERNALLY.

Seconds after Hijikata arrived noticing the unusual quietness of the place.

"Oiya? What happened? Why are you all quiet? Is a funeral occurring here or something?" Hijikata joked.

"Why it is your funeral Hijikata-san. Everyone respects you so much, that they want you to have a proper and decent one. Now, now. Could you please go back to your coffin and immediately meet with your bestfriend Satan, and if it is not too much, say hi to me too." Sougo said while looking at him with bored eyes.

"Teme!" HIjikata didn't even had the chance to retort back when Aoi woke up and threw a Kunai at himj. But sadly, Mayora wasn't hit (Tch!) "Ehh? You think I'll fall for the second time?" he asked while smirking. "Well then, think again you're still a-" he didn't had the chance to continue when it was Akari's turn to hit him with a shuriken. After that the two little devils… I mean angels were giggling happily seeing blood ooze off Hijikata's head.

Kagura and Sougo put the kids down and squatted to look closer at Hijikata who was currently on the ground.

"My, my… I didn't know that you are that popular to kids Hijikata-san." Sougo teased.

"He's right. You can even build a day care center-aru."

"TEME!" Hijikata stood up, removing the shuriken stuck in his head.

"Sougo, I know you are in-charge with that brat, but what good thing will do if add another one?! We're not an orphanage dammit!"

"Actually Hijikata-san, I'm planning on collecting kids who are good enough to assassinate you. And I'm glad with the fact that Akari and Aoi is more than enough for it."

"Want me to assassinate you first bastard?!"

In the meantime, while Sougo and Hijikata were having their friendly conversation, Kagura was eating all the foods she could see in the cafeteria.

"So you mean to say that China musume also picked that brat with a note just like you?" Hijikata confirmed while lighting his cigarette with his mayo lighter.

"And I was thinking if there is a connection with the two of them, that would let us trace their real parents.

"Well, we first need to ask what Kondou-san might say about this. Where is he anyway? As I remember, we're together when we arrived here."

"Kondou-san you say? He's ther plating with the brats."

Sougo pointed at Kondou who was only wearing his briefs and a handle on his head (welcome back hostcar! xD) and prentending to be a horse with the brats on top of him.

"Fasta~ Gori!" Aoi shouted.

"Gori-chan~ banana?" Akari fed Kondou a piece of peeled banana.

"Run Gori Run!" Aoi shouted while holding the handle.

"RAWR!" Kondou roared as he run in circles.

"OI! Stop that idiocy this instance! Kondou-san! What you are doing is such a disgrace!"

"Please Toushi, I'm just being a nice grandfather to Sougo and China-musume's kids. Really… Aoi got the looks of his father and the beautiful eyes of his mother, while Akari-chan got the beauty of her mother and the sparky red eyes of her father." Kondou described while being a little teary.

"A-ano… Kondou-san, could you stop being emotional? These brats aren't theirs anyway."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN TOUSHI?! Can't you see the resemblance!"

"Well it's true that they look alike, but still it's a no!"

"There is still a proff!"

"What is it?" HIjikata asked getting irritated with his stubborn Gorilla commander.

Instead of answering, the two brats started throwing their shuriken and kunais at him. Hijikata dodge it (hey! Get hit already!), but what surprised him is when Kagura threw a fork at him joining the fun. Quite impressive, he still dodged it, but the worst part is when Sougo pulled out the last attack. FINISHING MOVE! Sougo fired his bazooka at Hijikata, and this time luck wasn't at his side.

"Dammit! Quit it you sadistic family!" Hijikata snapped. He stood up with his body full of dirt and blackish thing because of the explosion. "I'm out of here. Do what you want!" he announced while making his way out.

Sougo and Kagura was just having their victory grin for successfully annoying the poor mayora, when Akari pulled the end of Kagura's cheongsam while rubbing her blue eyes.

"Mami~ Sleepy"

"Is that so? Well then, time to go homw. Thanks for the free food-aru." Kagura carried Akari and was about to walk away when Aoi and Akari cried in unison.

"Now what?" Sougo asked.

"Daddy!" Akari cried "Sleep together~"

"Mami!" Aoi seconded "Let's sleep!"

"I can't understand what the hell do these brats want-aru!"

"Well, looks to me they want to sleep… the four of you.. together that is." Kondou interpreted.

"HELL NO!" the two declined.

"Who would know what China might do to me while I am still asleep, or rather… I won't even have the chance to wake up tomorrow."

"I'm not a dirty player like you bastard! But thanks for the top, I may do it one of these days-aru."

"But the kids won't stop crying see?" Kondou insisted.

"Gin-chan might get worried. It's already late. Akari-chan pick; you stay here, or go home with me-aru?"

"Stay here with mami!" Akari answered still crying.

"Geez, this is a pain!"

"Fine, fine. Stop crying already. Only for tonight. I'll let China sleep at room tonight." Sougo gave up.

"That's my boy! But please Sougo, don't be too pushy to our China musume here ok? We don't want to have a 3rd sadist angel to take care of." Kondou teased.

"Cut it out Gorilla. As if I'll just accept that bastard Sadist's offer. Who would know if I could still see the next sunrise after spending a night with him."

"I'll give you 5 of those crappy sukonbu you like. Just stay here for tonight to make these brats stop crying."

"Make it 10." Kagura betted, gesturing the number with her hands.

"Fine. 10 or more. Just stay."

"Deal. I didn't know you want to sleep with me that badly, Sadist?"

"Dream on China. If I would choose, I'd rather have a pretty girl with big tits compared to a flat chested one like you."

"Anyway, I need to call Gin-chn so he won't get worried about me and Akari."

"Then use mine, I have the number of you place, China." Sougo lended her his phone after dialing the Yorozuya hotline number. "Please try to do your best restraining that monstrous strength of yours not to break my phone."

"Don't worry, I only have the intention on breaking that annoying face of yours-aru." Kagura said, ending the verbal battle of them. She put the phone close to her ears, when she heard someone picked it up.

"Moshi, moshi? Yorozuta desu. How can I help you?" Shinpachi answered.

"SHINPACHI!"

"Kagura-chan?! Where have you been? It's already night! Go home right now! This instance! Gin-san and I are both worried sick for you and the baby!"

"About that Shinpachi. I'll be staying here at Sadist's place together with Akari-chan. So I'm not going home today. Please tell that to Gin-chan. Thanks!" After that Kagura hang up not waiting for Shinpachi's reply.

"Finished. Thanks Sadist. Now, can I break your face?" Kagura asked while returning his phone.

"Maybe China, after a hundred years, that is."

Meanwhile, at the Yorozuya office...

"That's what she said Gin-san."

"Huh? Is that so? Well good luck to them. To think they will have two monsterous glutton at their place. Better prepare a lot of foods." Gin answered lazily, while picking his nose.

"Gin-san! Aren't you worried to Kagura-chan, even for a bit?!"

"Hmm? Not really."

"THEN BE WORRIED! Kagura-chan is being alone at a place full of men! We won't know what might happen to her! And she is hanging out with Okita-san! It's Okita-san! The Sadist!"

"Calm down virgin... err... I mean Shinpachi. It's our Kagura-chan we are talking about here. if the worst thing comes, it's that sadist brat we should be worrying with."

Back at the Shinsengumi headquarters, espicifically speaking, at Sougo's room...

"Okay brats. I already did what you had requested! I am here at Sadist room! Now, go to sleep!"

"Mami~ Good night kiss!" Akari requested.

"Me too~ Kiss~ Kiss~" Aoi insisted.

"Okay, Okay~" Kagura gave each one of them a kiss on the forehead. "Now sleep"

"Daddy~ Kiss us too~" The two said.

"I can't believe, I'm gonna be doing this, but promise me you'll sleep after. Got that brats?" Sougo asked scratching his head.

"Hai~"

And so, he also kissed Akari and Aoi on their forehead.

"Oyasumi, Daddy, Mami~" Akari bid her goodnight and had slept immediately.

"*yawns* Jaa~ I'll sleep too." Kagura slept at the other side, beside Akari.

"Oi, why are you still awake? I thought we made things clear about this?" Sougo asked Aoi.

"Daddy, give Mami her kiss!" Aoi answered.

"What?!"

"Mami's Kiss!"

"Oh no you won't. Cry all you want, but I won't kiss that China."

"Why?"

"Because it's disgusting..."

"But you love it... Kissing mami~"

"No. It wasn't me. It was your real parents."

Aoi just tilted his head, confused on what he was hearing.

"Then Daddy, I'll just give Mami her goodnight kiss." Aoi said.

"Sure, sure... whatever."

And so, Aoi pulled out a marker and crept closer to Kagura.

"Hey, hey... what do you think you are doing?" Sougo asked.

"Giving Mami her goodnight kiss."

"With a marker?"

"Hai?" Aoi answered in a tone which says 'obviously'.

"Would you let me do it instead?"

"Hai!" Aoi happily gave the marker to him.

"Let's see..." he wrote at her face, words 'glutton', 'china', and 'ugly'... "Hey Aoi-" he looked at him, but what he saw was that the boy was already asleep.

He looked back at Kagura who was happily sleeping. It looks like she was having a nice dream. Before he knew it, he was already being pulled by a mysterious magnetic force towards her body. He was out of control, and that's when he finally went out of his senses and... ~Chuu~ he had kissed her forehead.

Snapping out of it, he immediately moved away from her, brushing his hair and giving a sigh.

"Oyasumi Daddy." Aoi bid goodnight at him with a sadistic grin.

Sougo was surprised by it of course. 'Clever brat.' he said to himself. Though he was kinda annoyed by the fact that he was tricked by a brat, he just smiled at him gently (WTF!) and patted his head. "Oyasumi." he answered back.

And so the sadistic family was already having their peaceful sleep.

Morning came, and Sougo (unusually) woke up early. He was feeling a bit weird. Peeking through his red eye mask, he saw Kagura resting on his arms. Half-asleep... he didn't gave a damn about it and went back to sleep. Minutes after, it was Kagura's turn to wake up.

'WHAT THE HELL!' her mind shouted seeing her current sleeping position. She wans to kill sadist or even herself, seeing that she had slept near sadist. NO! Near isn't the proper word to describe it. It looks like that they ahd been 'cuddling' each other... But anyway, killing sadist? It could wait... Moreover...

"WHERE THE HELL ARE THE BRATS-ARU?!" Kagura shouted, grabbing the collar of the sleeping sadist.

"Huh?" Sougo, lazily responded.

"I'm asking you, where the hell are the brats-aru?!"

"Like I care." Sougo swatted her hand and went back to sleep.

"Useless Jerk!" Kagura stood up and shouted. "Akari-chan! Aoi! Where are you-aru?! Akari-chan! Aoi!"

That's when Yamazaki had appeared.

"Kagura-san? Ohayou. Is there a problem?"

Kagura grabbed Yamazaki's collar and asked angrily. "Akari-chan and Aoi, ahve you seen them Anpan-yarou?! Huh?!"

"Wait a minute Kagura-san. If you are looking for the kids, I saw them went to Fukucho's room."

"Mayora eh? Show me the way-aru!"

"H-Hai!"

Yamazaki leaded the way, and BINGO! The brats were really there. They are currently playing with their Uncle Hijikata... Play? Yes play!

They tied his whole body with a rope when he was still asleep. They even covered his mouth and eyes with a handkerchief. Thoughtful enough, the kids covered his entire body with his favorite mayo. Right now, Aoi was on top of him pulling his hair while Akari was artistically puts some poop grafiti at hispretty face. The two devils are happily singing their favorite song, ~Die Jijigata. (And if you are wondering how the hell could a pair of cute little angels do it. Let's just say that their sadistic father had trained them since birth. xDDD!)

"Akari-chan! Aoi!" Kagura called them normally.

"Mami! The both of them rushed over her side leaving the poor Mayora.

"Geez.. Don't go away like that without asking permissions-aru. What if something bad will happen to the two of you?" Kagura scolded them softly.

"Gomene Mami~" the two apologized.

"Mou~" Kagura cuddled the two of them. "Fine, you two are so cute, I'll forgive you!"

"Yay!"

"Let's go have breakfast"

"Hai!"

"Hmfff!" Hijikata wants to say 'Help me here!' but he can't since his mouth was covered.

Kagura just looked at him and grins. "Well, you look goo there Mayora. See ya later!"

"HMFFF!"

Yamazaki was about to lend him a hand, when Kagura forcefully dragged him with her saying, "Don't you dare."

At the cafeteria, Kagura, Akari, and Aoi was eating like there was no tomorrow. Every Shinsengumi members are just staring at the three of them in awe.

"Ohayou! Kagura-chan! Akari-chan! Aoi-kun!" Kondou greeted them brightly.

"Ohayou Gori!" the twins greeted back.

Kondou sat beside Aoi, who started peeling a banana and fed him with it.

"You're such a good child." Kondou said patting Aoi's head and chewing the banana.

They were happily gobbling the food when Yamazaki showed up calling Kondou.

"Kondou-san. They are here again." Yamazaki reported.

"What They really are persistent. How many times do we need to tell them that he doesn't like them... or should I say, he hates them."

"What's the matter Gori?" Kagura asked seeing Kondou making weird faces.

"Well you see, there are girls from the-" Kondou stopped talking, thinking a brilliant idea... he gave a mischevious grin, and pulled Kagura's hand. "Kindly help us a bit Kagura-chan. Neh, Aoi-kun, Akari-chan, come too, I need your help."

Kagura didn't protest. Since it's thanks to the gorilla that she had a wonderful breakfast she wouldn't forget. Akari and Aoi just followed their mami and Uncle Gori.

Arriving at the backyard, there are two girls waiting...

"Yo beautiful ladies!" Kondou greeted with a bright smile.

The girls gave a very disappointed smug and complained, "Who asked for a gorilla? We want SOUGO!"

"But ladies, we have told you hundred of times that Sougo isn't interested with you. the thing happened at the host club was just a mere entertaiment for him. He won't be going back there anymore." Kondou tried explaining to them.

"NO! He said we are different, he said we are special!" the insisted. (for those who are curious who are these bitches are, watch episode _ to _ of the Host club arc. they are the two annoying girls cuddling to Sougo^^)

"Eh? Special you say?" Kagura said in a mocking tone. "That stupid sadist said that to you? Oh please~ I bet he just said that since you two idiot bitches are stupid enough to believe him and to treat him for some booze-aru." Kagura said, starting to get annoyed on how the two are acting.

"Who are you anyway?" asked the first girl.

"What do you know know about SOUGO?" asked the second girl.

"You're asking me what I know about that stupid bastard sadist? Want me to tell you how much of a jerk he is-aru? Well then, I'll gladly-" Kagura stopped, when she felt a hand touched her shoulder. And before she knew it, that hand moved and an arm was already wrapped around her body, with a head leaning on her right shoulder.

"My, my, how thoughtful of you to tell others how great I am China." a familiar tone greeted her.

"SOUGO!" exclaimed the two girls.

"S-sadist?! What the hell are you doing-aru?! Let go off me you bastard!"

Sougo let out a soft chuckle but didn't do what Kagura had demamnded. Instead, he made his hug tighter, making the girls jealous.

"SOUGO~ who is that girl anyway?"

"Why do you kept on cuddling her?"

"Oh? You don't know This beautiful girl in front of you is my wife. My one only China." Sougo answered.

Hearing that made Kagura blush. She knows that was just a bluff to permanently cast these bitches, but she still involuntarily blushed.

"WHAT! T-then if you already have a wife, why did you work at the host club?!"

"And what do you even like with that brat with a scribblings on her ugly face." The other girl asked, who can't take it anymore and pointed out the doodles on Kagura's face.

Kagura looked at Sougo and asked, "What the hell is she talking about-aru?"

Sougo smirked and pulled out his phone immediately took a picture at Kagura. "I do believe she is talking about this, my beloved."

"What the- YOU FUCKING SADIST! DIE!" kagura ran towards the restroom to wash her face.

Kondou and Yamazaki let out a sigh of relief. They wanted to tell Kagura about it, but they are afraid that the whole place would get destroyed, if she had known. They need to be patient in waiting for Sougo to wake up and personally handle her.

"Anyway bitches," Sougo faced the girls. "Stop pestering my peaceful life with my family. If ever you take a step here again, I might not control myself and do something nasty to you. Or then again, maybe my wife is more than enough for you. She is more scary that an average monster, so if I were you... scram off and never show yourselves in front of us again." Sougo threatened them wearing his sadistic grin.

The girls left the place and Sougo, Kondou and Yamazaki went back to the cafeteria to continue breakfast. Aoi and Akari stayed at the backyard to play, and Kagura went to cafeteria as well, after washing her face.

"Damn you Sadist. I knew it, I should have killed you the time you had slept-aru."

"Save me with the jokes, China. You're too comfortable with your sleep, I thought you would over-sleep. Not to mention, you were drooling."

"Shut it! Anyways, what's your problem announcing me as your wife! I know you like me, but please first things first. We're not even considered as good friends to each other, and now you're making me your wife? Didn't know know you were that obssessed towards me-aru." Kagura mocked him making a disgusted face.

"Snap out of your FANTASIES, China. Don't go fangirling about me thinking I want you as my wife. I'm sure you know I just used you as a tool to finally get rid off those annoying bitches."

"Eto... Kagura-chan, Sougo, calm down. The problem was solved anyway right. Alls well, ends well deshou?"

"Shut up, Gorilla."

"I would only believe in that 'everything ends well' crap, if Hijikata-san would finally die." Sougo said in a deadpanned tone.

"Speaking of Mayora..."

"Huh?"

"Come with me-aru." Kagura pulled Sougo's arm leading the way towards Hijikata's room.

"Hey China, asking me out on a date? Apply that 'first things first' crappy idea you said earlier. Why not confess that you like me first?"

"LIKE HELL!" Kagura opened the shouji door of Hijikata's room.

There lies, a certain mayora who was still tied just like earlier, eyes and mouth both sealed, and his body was still covered and overflowing with the stinky, nauseating yellow a\substance we call Mayo, while his handsome face was full of Akari's artistic doodles.

"China, what is this? Your gift for me" Sougo asked, walking closer to Hijikata.

"I'm not the culprit. It was Akari-chan and Aoi who did this. I just saw them having fun torturing MAyora-aru."

Sougo let out a childish smile as he continue to take countless of pictures all over Hijikata's body. Hijikata let out a moan, asking for help, but then again we all know he won't get any. Satisfied with the images taken. Sougo said,

"I may really adopt those brats for real..."

**AN: Advance Merry Christmas to you my beautiful and handsome and lovable readers. Please send me your reviews as a gift for Christmas… Tnx^^**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5: WHEN A COUPLE GOES TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK IT IS CONSIDERED A DATE, BUT WHEN KIDS ARE INVOLVED IT IS CALLED BABYSITTING!**

It's been a week since Kagura had stayed at the Shinsengumi Headquarters. Gin, who doesn't care at first, got alarmed with it and is now panicking as hell!

"SHINPACHI! IT'S BEEN DAYS SINCE KAGURA HAD STAYED AT THOSE TAX ROBBER'S PLACE! AND WE DON'T HAVE ANY NEWS OR WHATSOEVER ABOUT HER!" he shouted at the glasses-wearing man who is currently holding a basket full of laundry.

"That's what I had told you a week ago Gin-san, but you paid no attention to it. It's been 7 days, and Kagura-chan hasn't contacted us. We don't have time visiting her since we've got many job requests to take care off." Megane lectured him while blaming Gin at the same time.

"But now, we have time! Let's go at those filthy tax robbers hide out this instance!" Gin said seriously.

"Gin-san~" Megane was about to get teary on how Gin shows his outmost parental towards Kagura. "I'm so happy to see you finally showing care towards Kagura-chan."

"Huh? What the hell are you talking about pachi-boy?"

"Hah? Aren't you worried for Kagura-chan that's why you decided to go check on her" Shinpachi asked a bit confused.

"Nah! 'm not worried about that brat since I know she could take care of herself. I'm more worried about myself. Who knows what her baldy father would do to me if he knows about this?" he explained while picking his ears.

"You are so-" but before Shinpachi could answer back, Gin pulled him outside ready to raid the Shinsengumis.

Meanwhile, at the Shinsengumi Headquarters…

The brats were happily throwing their kunais and shuriken at Hijikata who kept on running away from them. No matter how pissed he was, he can't find himself fighting back, since they are just your average (sadistic) brats, while Sougo and Kagura are busy brawling with each other.

"Die you f***ing sadist!" Kagura shouted, raining bullets at Sougo using her umbrella.

"China, it's been 7 days since you started cursing me like that. No wait. Ever since we had met, but hey look I'm still well and alive." Sougo deadpanned while gracefully dodging Kagura's bullets at him.

Yamazaki, stood there looking left and right, not knowing which he would start stopping first. That's when Gori went there with an idiotic grin on his gorilla face.

"Yare, yare. It's such a bright, sunny, lovely, and beautiful day, why are you all so noisy eh" Gori said in a loud and happy tone with an annoying bright smile on his face.

Sougo, Kagura and Hijikata noticed that stupid grin on Kondou's face. The three of them stopped with what they are doing and stared at him.

"Kondou-san, is there something wrong?" Mayora asked while he removes the kunais and shurikens sticking on his bloody head.

"What Kondou-san did you have a successful stalking mission with that mountain gorilla lady you fancy today?" Sougo asked in a bored tone.

"Don't call Ane-go a mountain gorilla!" Kagura said angrily while giving Sougo a flying high kick, but he just side stepped it and returned the favor by giving her a rocket punch while saying,

"Why China? Are you jealous? Don't worry, in my eyes you are far worst compared to a mountain gorilla, you monster-glutton." Ending it with an irritating smirk.

"KONOYARO!" Kagura was about to attack him again when Gori went in the middle of them.

"Mah, mah… And here I am, giving you two a gift." He said.

"Gift? Like what? Something like a Permission for me to kill Hijikata-san? Or is it that you are going to fire him and let me take over the vice-commander position. Is that it, Kondou-san"

"TEME SOUGO!"

"Gift? What gift Gori? A lifetime supply of sukonbu? Is that it-aru?"

"Bzzt! Wrong answer! Here look at this!" Gori proudly presented two amusement park tickets at them.

"Edo Amusement park" the two said in confusion.

"You should go there. It would be fun! Of course with the kids!"

"LET'S GO-ARU!" Kagura shouted loudly. Then she rushed towards Akari and Aoi who are currently busy playing in the ground. She excitedly explained to them what they are going to do for today.

"No. I. won't" Sougo refused emphasizing each word, to show how he despises that idea.

Gori patted his shoulder and put on a thumb up. "Just think of this as a day off, Sougo. Neh"

Can't refuse this gorilla he deeply cares for, he just gave a sigh, and nodded with a frown on his face.

And so… after half an hour of preparing, the sadist family went to the amusement park using the Shinsengumi patrol car. Minutes later, just right after Sougo and Kagura had left, Gin and Shinpachi came rushing to the HQ.

"OI TEME! KUSO ZEIKIN DOROBO! LET MY DAUGHTER OUT!" Gin rampaged, banging the gate. Yamazaki heard it and immediately opened the gate welcoming them with a confused look because of Gin who is currently making a ruckus.

"Yorozuya no Danna. Is there something wrong" he asked.

"HELL YEAH! SHOW ME MY DAUGHTER! WHERE'S KAGURA?!" Gin asked, grabbing Yamazaki's collar.

"Ch-chotto…. Anpan!" Yamazaki shouted in his last breath, after Gin shook his so hard, he suffocated.

"Oi! Who's there disturbing the peace in Edo. Wanna commit seppuku huh?!" Hijikata came out carrying his bazooka, ready to fire it to the person he thinks is the culprit. "What the-? What the hell are you doing here and what's with that noise huh?"

Gin let go off Yamazaki and went face-to-face with Hijikata with a smug on his face. The demon fukucho, returned the favor plus, a vein pop appearing on both men's temple.

"So, where's our Kagura you stupid Mayo-freak?!" Gin asked.

"Huh? You mean China musume? Why the hell do you even care, eh?"

"Obviously, because I am her guardian here on Earth. I'm freaking dead if something bad happens to her, stupid!"

"Too late. If you really are worried about her, you wouldn't let her stay here for a week, in a place full of men. Not to mention, right now, she is out together with a sadist." Hijikata said to him with a smirk.

"NANI! KAGURA IS NOW WITH THAT SADIST?!"

"You talk like you aren't one." Hijikata mumbled as h put a new stick of cigarette in his mouth.

"Huh? You have a problem with that Mayo-freak?"

"What did you just called me you stupid perm?!"

"Don't make fun of my curls!"

"Same with my mayo!"

While the two idiots are having their rant duel, Yamazaki who already regained his consciousness leaded Shinpachi inside and is now explaining the situation to him with a cup of green tea and delicious mochi…

Okay, enough with useless characters… *the author suddenly got beaten up and fed with Hijikata's special. A.K.A. dog crap* *coughs* let's go back to the main characters in this crappy fanfic.

Now, at the entrance, Ao and Akari, excitedly went out the car while Kagura holds each of their hands. Kagura faced Sougo and said, "hey, park that already so that you can help me with these brats."

Sougo instantly felt a strike of whatever something directed in his cold and sadistic heart. Well, who wouldn't? kagura was looking different than usual that day. Gori prepared a white one piece dress and a hat for her (yep, that angel look + this world is yours hat ;P). she was also have a basket hanging on her arm full of delicious food Yamazaki prepared for them (NO! NOT ANPAN OKAY? DON'T KNOW IF HE CAN COOK… BUT OH WELL ;P)

Sougo was mesmerized by her beauty. He imagined that she really is his wife and the twins are theirs because of the sudden motherly instincts she has been emitting. Kagura was wondering why Sougo wasn't responding so called,

"Oi, sadist? You okay? Why aren't you answering if you still want to back out, it's far too late-aru. We're already here."

"Huh?" Sougo was surprised, but still manages to hide it using his usual deadpanned face.

"Fine, fine. I'll catch up. Just go ahead."

"We will-aru. And don't even think of escaping or you're f***ing dead."

"Yare, yare, I didn'y know that you really want me to stay with you that much, China. Fallen in love me?" he teased.

"Don't get me wrong bastard idiot! We just need you as a mean of transportation, no more, no less uh-huh."

Sougo acted like he doesn't give a damn and just proceeded on parking the car while Kagura and the kids went inside.

"Mami… Mami's hand is sweaty~" Akari said.

"Ah… Huh? Is it?" Kagura asked looking at them.

"And Mami's face is red!" Aoi noticed.

"LIKE APO!" the twin announced in unison.

"Eh? Nani? Really?" Kagura touched her cheeks hearing what they had said. She felt that her face is a bit hot. That's when Sougo's look popped in her mind. Sougo in his casual clothes. Yup, it's plain, not to mention she already saw it many times, but she can't help think he looks cool with it. She slapped herself realizing what the freaking hell she was thinking.

"Mami?" the twins asked worriedly after she had slapped herself.

"Huh? No. nothing's wrong. Let's just go already."

"Papi?" Ao asked.

"Sadist… err, your Papi will come after a few minutes. He just needs to do something."

The three of them waited at the bench, when Ao saw Sougo at the crowd searching for them.

"PAPI!" he jumped and ran towards him when he accidentally bumps into a man, losing his balance, he almost tripped himself. Luckly, Sougo caught him and hugged him tight, then he immediately pointed his katana on the man. That man fell in the ground in terror to see that he almost lose his precious life. Sougo didn't had the chance to slay him when Kagura hit in the head.

"Oi, what the hell is your problem? It was just an accident-aru."

"Accident? What would you do if something bad happened to him?" Sougo asked a bit irritated.

"Didn't know you cared for him that much-aru. Maybe, he really is your son, yes?"

Sougo was very surprised himself. Why the hell did he reacted that way? Ao is not even a relative or what? So there's nothing wrong if he gets hurt.

"Moron. Since the brat is in our care, it's ours, the Shinsengumi's responsibility to take care of him, until the time we find their parents." Sougo said as an excuse.

Kagura hearing that, felt like something stabbing her heart. _'Yes they aren't ours' _Kagura said in her thought. She felt like tearing up. It's just that, in those 7 days, who would have thought she would fell in love with these brats?

"Oi China," Sougo was about to catch her attention when Akari called.

"PAPI! MAMI!" she ran towards them, and just like what happened to Ao, she got bumped to a person, but this time she tripped. Kagura rushed over her to check if she got wounded or what? Seeing it was just a slight graze, she let out a sigh of relief.

"Yosh, yosh. Pain, pain go away~ My baby is a good girl, she wouldn't cry just because of a slight wound neh?~" she tried soothing her down with that motherly tone and blew on her wound. Akari stopped crying but was still sniffing, though she gave a slight smile, showing that she is already fine.

"That's my girl. Now~" Kagura stood up pointing her umbrella to the man. "How dare ya make my Akari cry ya bastard?"

"W-wait… i-it's just an…" the man stuttered in fear.

But before she could blast this man's head, it was Sougo's turn to hit her head.

"ITAI! THAT HURTS YA BASTARD!" Kagura cried in pain while rubbing her head. "What the hell is your problem?"

"A payback for what you did to me earlier, China." Sougo deadpanned.

"Are ya asking for a fight ya sadist? Huh?"

"China, have you forgotten the fact that I am a police officer? You are breaking the law by disturbing the peace here in Edo, because of that annoying stupid voice of yours. Now to silence you up…" he brought out his bazooka, and aimed it at her. The costumers got scared and backed off. Some of them cheered for Kagura, some for Sougo. Others, were shouting, calling for the guards, but the sadist couple? They didn't give a damn. Staring at each other, they aimed their weapon to each one's head. Just when Sougo and Kagura were about to fire their attack, Akari and Aoi went in the middle and cried loudly.

"MAMI! PAPI! NO FIGHTING! UWAAHHH!" Akari cried.

"WE ARE HERE TO HAVE FUN! UWAAH!" followed by Aoi.

Kagura and Sougo had snapped out of it and immediately put their weapons down. Kagura hugged Akari tightly and rubbed her back,

"Yosh, yosh… Gomene Akari-chan. Stop crying now neh. We won't fight anymore. Yosh, yosh."

Sougo carried Aoi and looked at him.

"Stop crying Aoi. Men don't cry." He said.

"But… *sniff* But you and Mami *sniff*"

Sougo, seeing how sad Aoi is, can't help but kissed him on the forehead and said in a some-what fatherly tone,

"Don't worry, we won't fight anymore. So, stop crying. We are here to have fun, right?"

Aoi geve a nod. Sougo put him down, and Aoi went near to Akari and held her hand.

"Good. Now, don't let go of each other, neh?" Kagura said, as she held the other hand of Akari, while Sougo held Aoi's.

"What a sweet family… hee, hee, hee…" A man mumbled in the corner.

Back at the tax robber's place…

"Anyway, Kondou-san, where did you got that ticket you gave Sougo and China musume?" Hijikata asked.

"Huh? Oh that? I just saw it at the mailbox. It was sent for us, shinsengumi… so I decided to give them to Sougo." Kondou explained.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Gin shouted (Yup! They are still there, since they listened to Yamazaki's explanation of the current situation Kagura and Sougo are having)

"What's with the angry tone Yorozuya?" Kondou asked.

"Kondou-san, what would we do if that is a trap they must knew about the kids and now used that ticket to lure them out to get the kids. They might be in trouble." Hijikata explained.

"I… I didn't think of that… Okay! Let's go follow them!" Kondou commanded, when his wrist watch suddenly beeped "Arreh? It's now time…"

"Time for what" asked the two.

"Time for me to stalk… err I mean to visit Otae-san. Well then, I'll just go ahead. I'll leave Sougo, China-musume and the twins care on the two of you. Ja ne~"

"Oi wait-" but the gorilla was now out of sight.

"What kind of irresponsible gorilla is that perverted commander you have."

"We apologize on how our leader had acted, but still, don't you dare insult Kondou-san… you useless-poor-of-an-excuse-lazy-man."

"What did ya say?" Gin pulled out his bokuto and Hijikata did the same with his katana… but before blood could be spilled, Yamazaki interfered by saying,

"Hijikata-san, you have a mail. It says that a Mayora museum which is newly built is having their opening ceremony today… and as an avid fan of his, you are personally chosen as one of the lucky people who are given VIP tickets for the museum and a chance to meet and greet the mascot, Mayora Mayorin."

"WHAT DID YA SAY YAMAZAKIIIIII?!" Hijikata rushed towards Yamazaki grabbing his collar. He took the ticket from him and immediately dashed outside. Gin and Yamazaki was left there dumbfolded.

"Tsk. What a bunch of useless tax robbers… and you call yourselves protector of Edo? Give me a break. How the hell could a gorilla stalker and a Mayo-freak do a job properly? Not to mention there is also a sick and twisted sadist included among them." Gin ranted while picking his ears.

"Oh yeah, Yorozuya no Danna. I heard from some people that there's a new café in town. As an opening treat, there would be an all-you-can-eat parfait contest. The winner in the said contest will be free of charge for a whole week. Other information is stated here at the pamphlet. I know you love sweets, so I was wondering-" but Gin didn't let Yamazaki utter another word, he rushed over him, grabbing the pamphlet and went outside while shouting "ARIGATOU ANPAN MAN!"

Shinpachi, who was there the whole time, and didn't even had the chance to say a single line, just gave a sigh shaking his head.

At the Edo Amusement Park, the sadist family had fun enjoying the rides there…. Specially at the roller coaster ride where they had fun witnessing other people screaming and crying in fear. Yes! Akari and Aoi are also there… even with their age, due to their so-called 'parents' influence (meaning- Kagura and Sougo threatened the staffs using their weapons) the kids had their permission to ride the roller coaster.

Lunch time…

They went to a bench where Kagura opened the basket Yamazaki prepared for them. It contains (NOTE: Not Anpan Okay?) a bunch of delicious sandwiches. (Dunno if Yamazaki could cook, but oh well ;P) The kids immediately took pieces of it, one for each hand. They were eating happily while Kagura and Sougo watched them in silence.

"Arreh? China. Aren't you a glutton? Why aren't you taking a bite? Are you on a diet?" Sougo asked in a deadpanned tone.

"Shut up! It's none of yer business-aru! Why do you even care anyways? Are you concerned at my health? You like me? Hah!" Kagura asked with a disgusted and smug expression plastered in her face.

"In your dreams China. As if I'll fall for you. Sleep if you are sleep talking, China. Your fetishes towards me are accidentally being blurted out by that stinky, careless mouth of yours."

"Are you trying to piss me off again-aru? Huh?"

"Mami, Papi, no fighting~" Akari interrupted.

"Let's eat!" Aoi seconded, handing a sandwich for each of them.

Kagura and Sougo took and ate it. Some passersby saw them and mumbled "What a cute family."

"Twins? How cute, they look alike their parents."

"What a cute family."

But thenagain, these mumbles were a little loud, letting Kagura and Sougo heard it all. Kagura faced the other side blushing, while Sougo faced the opposite direction… not blushing and just continued with his tricky poker face, but his heart were a little moved by it. The both of them looked at the twins and patted their head. The kids gave a bright smile as a response.

After lunch, they continued exploring the Amusement park. They tried, merry-go-round, tea-cup rides, bumps cars, and many more. It was night time when they decided to try the Ferris wheel… Romantic date? Nah~ there's brats involved, more like a family outing. Uh-huh.

They were in line waiting for their turn when there's an explosion occurred. It was at the Ferris wheel. Some huge debris came falling to their place. Sougo having quick reflexes pushed Kagura and the kids away, leading him the one getting hurt.

"SADIST!" Kagura shouted while hugging the two kids tightly, trying to protect them.

"PAPI!" the twins added.

"I-I'm f-finr… for now, take those kids to a safe place." Sougo said calmly even though the weight and pain is almost killing him.

"But sadist-"Kagura want to argue, but she was cut off by Sougo.

"JUST DO IT! NOW!"

"And you?"

"Kagura, please. Just make sure they are safe. I'm fine."

Stunned with Sougo calling her name, she still manage to get serious, for their outmost priority is the kids.

"I got it-aru! While I'm out, make sure you keep yourself safe sadist!"

"Yeah, yeah just go already."

"I'll be back, just stay safe Sougo." After that she carried the kids who are currently crying and worried about their father.

**AN: Umm…. Hello there! *waves* still remember me? How many months had passed since I updated this crappy fanfic… Sorry for being that late… I'm kinda busy… but hey! The next chapter is the last. And sorry for the poor grammar… I'm trying my best, but still I do know I'm not good in English~**

**P.S.: For those who liked the omake "KAGURAPUNZEL" I also made a fanfic entitled "WRECKED FAIRY TAIL" which features Cinderella (Something Cinderellish) and Momotarou (Sougotarou)~ **


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6: IT BRINGS NOTHING BUT DISASTER WHEN THE FUTURE AND THE PAST COLLIDES**

"Akari, Aoi, don't cry. Your Papi is a strong person. He'll be fine. First thing we must do is to find a safe place for the both of you, so that I could help your Papi as fast as possible. So stop crying, yes? Be strong and brave for him." She comforted the twins while patting their head. The twins gave a nod while wiping their tears.

"Good. Now let's go-aru?"

"Hai!"

On their way, they saw Gin and Hijikata glaring at each other. (To cut the long story short, they met since the said destination of Mayorin museum and Parfait Café is at the Edo Amusement park. They are glaring at each other because they are in the middle of arguing about sweets and mayonnaise.)

"GIN-CHAN!MAYORA!"Kagura shouted waving her arms to catch their attention.

"Kagura/China musume?"

"Good timing-aru. Take care of these kids, I still need to lend sadist a hand. Protect them okay? If something bad happens to them you are both DEAD." She threatened, emphasizing the 'dead' part.

"Oi, Oi what's wrong Kagura?"

"Huh? Everyone else is in ruckus running for their lives because of an explosion-aru. Didn't ya know? And besides why are you together here? A date-aru? Oh wait I don't care, sadist is in trouble, I gotta go." She sprinted away, not waiting for Gin reply anymore.

"Oi wait-"

"Mami be careful."

"Help Papi."

'_Be safe sadist. I won't forgive you if you dare die. I hate to admit it but, even though I always curse you to die, now that you are in that kind of situation I can't help myself but pray for me not to lose you. Don't die on me you bastard!'_Kagura shouted in her mind as she runs. Tears slowly fall from her eyes, while thinking what might happen to Sougo.

"No sadist like him won't die easily!" As she was busy convincing herself, she didn't noticed that there's an amanto blocking her way and bumped into him.

"Arere..Kagura-chan was it? Long time no see. "

"Who are ya?!" Kagura asked glaring at him.

"Oopss.. Sorry, how rude of me. Of course you wouldn't know. I'm from the future after all."

"Hah?"

"Well you see… the future you had some personal issues with our clan, and that's why I'm here for a little payback."

Kagura spitted some saliva on the ground and looked at him with a disgusted expression.

"Anosa… If you have a deal you need to settle with the future me, face her. Count me out! I'm actually pretty busy ya know? And besides, HOW THE HELL DID YA MANAGED TO TRAVEL TIME YA STUPID BOAR?!"

"What you had said was true but, I'm not here for neither the two of you… and just to brag since you had asked… HORA! LOOK!" he pointed to a vending machine. "that's VENDO TIME TRAVELING MACHINE MARK 3 VERSION 16.5, which we had used to travel here in the past or rather the present." He bragged loudly wearing a proud face, and arms crossed on his chest.

"UWAAAHHH! SUGOI! Te… LIKE I CARE! Time machine my ass! Only Gin-chan would be interested in that crap!"

*Gin Sneezes*

"Caught a cold?" Hijikata asked with blood oozing from his head.

"Huh? No… but then again I'd rather catch a cold than catch those shurikens and kunais being thrown by those brats just like you. Geez, Oogushi-kun, these brats really detest you."

"TEME! And the hell with Oogushi-kun?! That name-joke crap was already over years ago!

Back to Kagura and the amanto…

"So you are not her for neither me nor the future me… then… don't tell me…"

"BINGO! You've guessed it right missy…. Now where are your lovely brats."

"Heh!As if I'll tell ya!"Kagura had her fighting stance, ready to beat the hell out of him when a hand suddenly laid on her shoulder, gripping it lightly.

"Let me handle him China. He's mine." The cold tone said.

Kagura looked behind her, and to her shock, the girl in red clad had her jaw dropped down and eyes popped out, after seeing who it was.

'_Damn that China! What's taking her so long? Don't tell me she had ditched me out? Nah… she wouldn't do that… Maybe… WAIT! What if… what if something bad had happened to those brats? Fuck! If only I could escape from here.'_

Sougo was busy with his thoughts when a voice suddenly caught his attention.

"Fufufu… never. As in never in my wildest and craziest dreams that I had thought I would witness the mighty Jerkaiser-sama in this pitiful state… fufufu… so uncool."

Obviously, Sougo was deeply irritated with it. He gave her a sharp look, seeing an amanto with snakes as her hair.

"Pardon me bitch, but do I know you?"

"Excuse my rudeness Jerkaiser-sama, but as a matter of fact, you do know me, to be precise, it's the future you, that is. And to note, I'm pretty close to your wife, in a bad way that is. Fufufufu."

Sougo was surprised on what he had heard, but he had kinda expected this kind of setting, from the beginning. So, he kept his composure and tried squeezing some information from the "bitch" amanto.

"So… who are you bitch and what are you doing here on our own time?"

"I am Hebiko, from the Hebihime planet. I am here for a little payback from you, the sadistic couple and your brats. I had joined forces with Butarou-kun, the prince of Butaji planet since he had the same grudge towards the two of you as well."

"Don't you dare, lay a hand on my kids and Kagura. I will seriously kill you."

"Aww, stop your whining sadistic jerk. And don't you worry, I bet Butarou-kun had already took care of that business, so, there's no need for my hand to be soiled. Fufufufu."

"You… bitch…" Sougo gritted his teeth and clenched his fist, currently cursing his own self for being so useless and pathetic at the moment.

"BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SADIST LOOKS SO UNCOOLARU! SOMEONE LEND ME A CAMERA! HE LOOKS SO PRICELESS! BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Hearing that insult from a familiar voice, Sougo just can't help himself but felt relieved, but then again, that doesn't mean he wouldn't retort back, right? So he turned his head to the direction where the voice was coming from, "Oh, so you are still alive. What took you so long Chi-" his sentence was cut short when he saw who the owner of that mocking voice was"Chi-China?"

**OMAKE:**

**WHO IS THE REAL ROMEO?**

**JULIET /KAGURA/: **Romeo is that you-aru?

**ROMEO 1 /MADAO/: ** Huh? *currently searching for a coin under the vending machine*

**JULIET:** *kicks his ass* Romeo isn't poor-aru.

**ROMEO 2 /KONDOU/:** JULIET! *eating bananas and kissing Otae's picture*

**JULIET:** Romeo is not a gorilla… and… SHE'S NOT JULIET-ARU!

**ROMEO 3 /HIJIKATA/:** *scratches head* *sigh* Why the hell do I need to participate in this crap? *coughs* Juliet… Come and join me, let's reign Mayo Kingdom together.

**JULIET: **SHUDDAPP! MayoraOuji, you've got the wrong kingdaom-aru!

**ROMEO 4 /KAMUI/:**Imouto3 3 3

**JULIET:** STAY AWAY BAKAMUI!

**ROMEO 5 /ZURA/:** ROMEO JA NAI! KATSURA DA!

**JULIET:** *kick-punch-kick*

**ROMEO 6 /GIN/: **Juliet, have you seen my JUMP?

**JULIET:** LIKE I CARE! If you are not Romeo, then go away-aru!

**ROMEO 7 /SHINPACHI/:** Juliet, here I am. *arranges his glasses*

**JULIET:** NO! I won't marry a pair of glasses, uh-huh!

**ROMEO 8 /SAKAMOTO/:** AHAHAHAHAHAHA! JULIET I HAVE ARRIVED! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**JULIET:** *kicks him back to space*

**ROMEO 9 /TAKASUGI/:** Juliet… *smokes in his kiseru* let's destroy this world right now. *grins*

**JULI—KAMUI:** *drags him back to the ship* ^_^

**ROMEO 10 /PRINCE HATA/:** LOVE AND PEACE 3 My princess, the real prince had arrived.

**JULIET:** SHUDDAPP! BAKA OUJI! *snaps his charm point*

**ROMEO 11 /ZENZOU/:** PIZZA DELIVERY! *stomach grumbles* Ughh… *runs to the comfort room*

**JULIET:** Why the hell did ya come here-aru.

**ROMEO 12 /YAMAZAKI/:** AnpanAnpanAnpanAnpanAnpanAnpanAnpanAnpanAnpanAnpan 

**JULIET:** *sparking Anpan at him*

WHERE IS THAT FUCKIN' ROMEO-ARU?!

**ROMEO 13 /SADAHARU/:** Arf!

**JULIET:** *looks at him; snuggles* Oh my Romeo, my dear Romeo. Where have you been-aru?

*Bazooka firing*

**ROMEO 14 /SOUGO/:** Oh bitchy Juliet, here I am finally.

**JULIET:** Fuck ya Sadist! Go away! You're the sadist Jerkaiser who rules the sadist planet and not my Romeo-aru! Shoo… Shoo…

**ROMEO 14:** *pulls her and makes her drink a sleeping potion* Shut up crazy bitch.

**NARRATOR:** And so the Jerkaiser-sama, and not Romeo is Juliet's prince… amd they have lived at the sadist planet, despicably, and chaotically ever after ~ -_^

**/A.N.-Eto…. Konnichiwa? *waves hand awkwardly* Eto… I just want… to… say…SUMIMASEN DESHITA! –Grovelswhilecryingloudly- Anosa…. *sniffs* It has been a long time since the last time I updated, yes? Actually, I was really scared on updating this since I know for a fact that this chapter is really boooooooooring~ *bows*. Well, honestly speaking, the real reason of me updating late was because my original draft got lost /MOM PROBABLY THREW IT OUT WHEN SHE WAS CLEANING/ so it took me a long time rewriting the draft. And yeah I did mention on the previous chapter that this was supposed to be the finale, right? But I guess I was wrong….. BUTBUTBUT I promise the next one is really the last… though I think it won't really be that interesting… I might have second thoughts about writing it…**

**ORZ|| *GETS A DAGGER AND IS PREPARING TO ACT HARAKIRI***

**Oh before I forgot… that's gonna be the title of the last chapter…**

**CHAPTER:7 DRAMATIC PARTING WAYS IS SO CLICHÉD; LET'S MAKE IT FUN AND SADISTIC **


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